Social Anxiety –Recognizing and Understanding certain symptoms
Our common belief of social anxiety is someone who is shy, doesn’t like to go out, doesn’t like to talk, or is just awkward in groups. On the contrary some socially anxious people are not the quiet types. Social anxiety manifests in many ways and after speaking to a few clients some of the behaviors and coping mechanisms are surprising.
Often in a group when a socially anxious person is quiet or on their phone, they are considered to be rude but in fact they are actually petrified of speaking as they fear they will say something wrong or terrified of what others will think or being made fun off. Many are even scared to have eye contact and they go over a sentence multiple times to make sure they deliver it well. Some talk very fast, ramble and joke around till they realize no one is really listening. Their mind might be saying ‘be quiet’ ‘everyone is judging you’ but awkward silence makes them uncomfortable and they feel the need to talk to mask their anxieties. In a group or a party, these individuals are very conscious of themselves and are afraid to exhibit their emotions. They get fidgety and delve deep into their discouraging thoughts, finding excuses not to speak by being glued on their phone, thinking about their exit and how they will get home or about other issues.
Besides the cognitive, emotional and physical symptoms, certain physiological signs may also be visible. For some people they start sweating the moment they have to speak even in a small group of 3, getting red and flushed in their face, increased heartbeat, dryness in the mouth, frequent toilet visits, quivering voice, stuttering, trembling and so on. Thus, dampening their confidence even more to speak in groups.
Some socially anxious individuals have experienced certain calmness during the COVID 19 lockdown period due to isolation or reduced amount of social interaction and hence causing lesser anxieties. With the popularity of technology and increase in digitalization in the recent years, people are getting more hooked on to gadgets and seem to have found a false sense of comfortable companionship with them, spending hours without having the need to interact with other human beings. This unfortunately, is not helping individuals living with social anxieties to come out of their shell, which is narrowing their ability to rationalize their beliefs through evidence-based facts and thus, differing them move out of their comfort zone and face their fears.
Socially anxious people can overcome such fears either with help of their friends, family or by counselling. Encouraging rather than scorning someone with this disorder to seek help, could help them develop socializing skills and thus, perhaps make them feel less lonely and depressed.